Mrs G's Blog

Accountability
I despair! Following my blog last month about the new social worker, far from there being any improvement, the situation has gone from bad to worse. Mistakes are being compounded by more mistakes. As a result the child I am fostering is becoming more and more confused and upset. Nothing can be done because the social worker is on holiday, as is her manager and team leader. And when they return I doubt anyone will be held accountable. In my experience such mistakes are passed off as ‘bad practice’ and no one is disciplined. If the social worker was employed in business she’d be dismissed.

Smelling of Roses
I was given a bunch of roses yesterday and like all cut roses today they looked perfect but didn’t have any scent. I wondered why cut roses no longer smelt and did some research on the internet. Apparently scientists modified roses to make then last longer when cut but an unintended consequence of this longevity was the loss of smell. A warning if ever there was one for genetic modification!

Social Worker
I had been working with an excellent social worker who was conscientious, caring, hardworking and kept me regularly updated. Unfortunately, as often happens with very good social workers, she left for promotion elsewhere. Sadly her replacement is the exact opposite, another Eileen I fear.

David Rathbone - the true hero
Those cretins on Facebook who have joined a group which tries to portray the killer Raoul Moat as a hero should listen to PC David Rathbone’s account of how it felt to be shot in the face and feel his eye disintegrate. He is the real hero.

ipad
On 26th October 2009 I blogged my views about the latest electronic readers – the Kindle and the Sony reader. How quickly gadgets become obsolete. Six months later the ipad has largely replaced the Kindle and Sony reader and while I can see the ipad’s advantages over previous electronic readers - mainly its multifunctionality, I wonder how long it will be before it too is replaced. Will I still be reading a book made from paper in 10 years time? Probably not, but maybe.

Derrick Bird
It would seem that the taxi driver who ran amok a week ago in Cumbria and killed 12 innocent people (most of them unknown to him) was an otherwise sane man who flipped. But why did a taxi driver need to own a gun? Without a gun the loss of life would have been significantly reduced, possibly to nil.

Well done BT!
My telephone line went dead yesterday so I braced myself and phoned BT. To my utter amazement and absolute delight instead of fighting through a maze of automated messages, after pressing 1 once a real live person answered. Not only was she real but I could understand her and she me, and she was very helpful, not patronising. She apologised for the drop in connection and said she would send an engineer the following morning. Gob-smacked I thought this is too good to be true! But sure enough the engineer arrived at 9am and fixed the fault. That’s what I call good service. Well done BT.

Smacking
Smacking is in the headlines again as Britain is being pressured by the Council of Europe to introduce a total ban on smacking children. The UK is one of the few countries in the world not to have completely banned smacking. I believe a total ban is long over-due. Not only is physical punishment degrading, but how can we expect our children not to hit others if the law allows parents to hit their children? There are plenty of far more successful strategies for disciplining children (e.g. loss of privileges) without resorting to physical abuse.

Spring has finally sprung
The hills near where I live are suddenly awash with yellow daffodils. Wonderful.

Happy Kids
The last couple of weeks have been very busy as a result of all the interest in Happy Kids. I’ve had lots of phone calls from journalists and radio presenters wanting to interview me so I am very very pleased. I thought Happy Kids would be useful but I didn’t realise it would also be controversial!

The Way Forward
One overriding factor emerges from all the abused children I’ve looked after, and the true-life stories I’ve read, and that is the child was too scared to tell anyone they were being abused, or if they did they told the wrong person, so the abuse continued. We won’t ever eliminate child abuse from society so we must give our children more power to protect themselves: a voice that can be heard and acted on. All children need to know they can tell an adult and have their disclosure taken seriously and investigated. But who should they tell? Possibly a family member but so often the abuser is a family member or a friend of the family. All children go to school so it would make sense for a child to know there is a person in school they can go to if in trouble. Every school in the UK must now have a ‘designated’ teacher who is responsible for the welfare of children in care and ensuring they receive the support they need while in school. I suggest the designated teacher’s role is widened to include a pastoral element so that a child in distress feels able to confide in him or her. Cleary this would require money from the government to set up and run the scheme, but it would be a small price to pay to ensure the safety of the next generation.

Water meter?
A friend of mine who fosters and lives in a house with a water meter is very worried by the size of her bills. She doesn’t waste water but with four children, two of whom are special needs and have accidents and wet their beds her washing machine is on twice a day. Like many of us her dishwasher is on once a day and the whole family obviously shower and flush the toilet. I sympathised with her but then I wondered, why, in one of the wettest countries in the western hemisphere are we metered for water? Shouldn’t clean and unlimited water be a right, paid for through our community charge or similar?

Radio interview
I was interviewed on Dublin’s Country Mix radio this morning by Lynsey Dolan, a lovely lady who was very complimentary about Happy Kids. Usually the radio interviews are recorded but this was live. I was nervous before but once I got talking it was fine. I hope!

www.mumsnet.com
I feel very honoured that I have been asked to participate in a web chat on the much respected and highly informative Mumsnet, beginning 4th February. Very exciting!

Spring
The birds are singing this morning - clearly they think Spring is on the way. Hope so!

Friday again
And nearing the end of the third week in January. Where does the time go!

Haiti
I sometimes wonder if I have the right to be happy with so much sadness in the world. Making a donation seems such a small token compared to this nation’s suffering.

Flu
I guess Gran was right when she said a cold snap kills off the flu germs. I haven’t heard of anyone with flu for ages, just frostbite!

Cold
My garage is the same temperature as my fridge 6c, and outside last night was the same temperature as my freezer -14c.

2010
All best wishes for the coming year. Cathy x

A Very Happy Christmas
From the bottom of my heart I would like to wish all my readers a very Happy Christmas and wonderful New Year. Your words of kindness and support mean more than you will ever know. Take care. Love and Best Wishes. Cathy x

Jeremy Clarkson
Jeremy Clarkson’s humour may not be everyone’s taste, but if you have five minutes read his column in The Sunday Times today (also on line). I guarantee it will make you smile if not laugh out loud. Thank goodness we have someone who dares to say what many of us think. A Christmas toast to Clarkson’s irreverence; may it long continue.

Home
I found this poem while researching my new book. What a lovely sentiment. "Every house where love abides and friendship is a guest, is surely home and home sweet home, for there the heart can rest." (Henry Van Dyke 1852-1933)

Death Penalty
I switched on the radio this morning to hear the sickening details of John Allen Muhammad’s execution, and could have wept. I believe it is wrong to take a life in any situation, but to put someone to death with such detached precision seems more heinous and barbaric than the original crime. Thank goodness I live in a country that has abolished the death penalty.

Kindle
There has been much written recently about Amazon’s Kindle and the Sony Reader - handheld electronic devices that allow hundreds of books to be downloaded from the internet and read on screen. Lots of discussion about the pros and cons of each, and whether these devices will replace the traditional book. No, I'm sure a device, no matter how clever, will ever replace the book, for what has been lost in these sophisticated gadgets (and will be almost impossible to replicate) is the ‘experience’ of reading. Reading is not simply about reading words; it is a whole person experience: the touch of the book; the smell of the print on paper; the satisfaction of feeling the pages turn in your hand; the way a book moulds itself to your situation - curled up in bed, sprawled on the sofa or sun lounger, or sitting upright in a train or bus. We form an attachment to our books which is why we are so possessive about them – ‘Yes, you can borrow that book but please let me have it back.’ Possibly, if all of these qualities could be replicated in an electronic reader then these gadgets might see off the traditional book, but then surely that would be like reinventing the wheel – preferable to stay with what we know and love - the book.

Emergency Placement
I was woken at 2am with a very loud knocking on the front door. Grabbing my dressing gown, I staggered downstairs, switching on the lights. I checked the security spy-hole before answering the door - two police officers, one holding a toddler. ‘I believe you are an emergency foster carer,’ the WPC said, passing me the toddler who looked at me suspiciously. ‘This is Jason. We think he is fourteen months old. Mum is sobering up at the station, she should be out tomorrow.’ As I type Jason is asleep and I am very wide awake. Tomorrow will be a very busy day.

Overpayment
I guess our MPs now know how the thousands of people who claimed tax credits feel; having claimed the money in good faith, to be told years later they had to repay it.

Dear Mr Cameron
The promise of a pension at 66 will not get you my vote, I'm afraid.

Happy Days!
I’ve just heard that the toddler I have been looking after should be able to return to his mother by Christmas, which is fantastic news. I’ve also now finished the edits of Happy Kids – my next book, where I pass on the secrets of raising well behaved and contented children. So all in all a very positive week.

Paperback
Much excitement as the paperback of The Saddest Girl In The World is out today.

Autumn
What a glorious day it is here in the UK. The sun still has some real warmth and the air is fresh and clean. The trees are beginning to change colour, turning beautiful shades of orange, red and yellow. Definitely a day for a walk in the country.

Patrick Swayze
What a lovely man, and what a strong marriage he had – 34 years. I was very saddened to hear of his death. I guess we will find the cure to cancer eventually but clearly we have some way to go.

The Saddest Girl In The World
Donna dropped by yesterday evening and is doing great. When I think back to how she was it is difficult to believe she is the same person. Well done, love.

Stella Akanbi
My deepest and heartfelt sympathy to the family of Stella Akanbi who drowned on Monday while swimming in the sea at Clacton. My family and I have just returned from that coast. The tragic loss of your beautiful daughter has affected us all. Our thoughts and prayers are with you.

Baby P
One of the emails I received this morning was from a reader asking what I thought about Baby P’s abusers being given new identities. It took me a long time to compose a reply which included this: …our legal system requires that when a prisoner has served his or her sentence, and therefore his or her debt to society, he or she can be released. If freeing the prisoner (s) puts their lives at risk - as it would in the case of Baby P, then our law takes on a duty of care to protect them. Pity we weren't as efficient at protecting Baby Peter!

Boxing
Am I the only person to think that punching someone in the face until they fall down should not be classified as a sport?

What a glorious day. Went with some friends and their children to a park which has a paddling pool. All the mums and carers were paddling and a few of the children. Had a picnic lunch. Great day out. Just returned to find my editor has emailed me the front cover of Happy Kids. Looks good, and lives up to its name - lots of happy, smiling children. Will put it on the website asap.

Lazy Days of Summer
Up early to continue editing. Going out for the day today - to the zoo. Just as well I have a (foster) child to take with me otherwise I might look a bit sad going alone. But not as sad as I would look going to a ball pond alone - which is where we went yesterday. I love the freedom of the summer holidays when the routine of school stops.

New website
My new website is now up and running. Many thanks to Liz of The Website Design Studio for all your hard work.

Just realised that the next book will be Happy Kids - out in January 2010. The Girl In The Mirror follows in April. Rather a lot going here at present, with the summer holidays and a toddler!

Editing
I am now working on the final edit of my new book, which is a novel - The Girl In The Mirror. All very exciting. It will be out in April next year. There will be other fostering stories but I think my readers will like this just as much.